Tag Archives: Funny
Now we all like laughing at babies and yes we know it is not wrong but it is funny.
Now when you know the baby in question it becomes 10 times funnier. I wanted you to look at this little baby rocking it out. Gangnam Style
Please will you share, like this video. Make it Viral.
It is the beginning of the week and it is the worst day of the week. Yip it is Monday Madness where nothing ever seems to go as planned, deadlines are always late and all in all the worst way to spend 1/7 of your life.
So here is a selection of women with a sense of humor, showing they can take crazy, naughty pictures. Slap Stick humor.
General Cosgrove was interviewed on the radio recently.
Read his reply to the lady who interviewed him concerning guns and children. Regardless of how you feel about gun laws you gotta love this!
This is one of the best comeback lines of all time. It is a portion of an ABC radio interview between a female broadcaster and General Cosgrove who was about to sponsor a Boy Scout Troop visiting his military Headquarters.
So, General Cosgrove, what things are you going to teach these young boys when they visit your base?
We’re going to teach them climbing, canoeing, archery and shooting.
Shooting! That’s a bit irresponsible, isn’t it?
I don’t see why, they’ll be properly supervised on the rifle range.
Don’t you admit that this is a terribly dangerous activity to be teaching children?
I don’t see how. We will be teaching them proper rifle discipline before they even touch a firearm.
But you’re equipping them to become violent killers..
Well, Ma’am, you’re equipped to be a prostitute, but you’re not one, are you?
The radio cast went silent for 46 seconds and when it returned, the interview was over.
I was having an argument with a couple of friends about “What is the most important mean of the Day“.
One of my friends is an electrician, we shall call him Travis, and he is saying it is breakfast and his reason is because it gives you the energy for you to have a great day. I totally understand that and I can see where he is coming from.
My other friend is a fisherman , we shall call him Jason, and he believes that Lunch is the best meal because it splits the day in two and it gives you the energy to carry on fishing late into the day. Again I can see where he is coming from and when I have been fishing it makes sense.
My last friend in the group, we shall call him Lawrence, and he firmly believes that dinner is the best meal of the day because after a hard day working you need to refuel for the next day of hard graft and again I feel his argument has a lot of relevance.
Finally after hearing all of their arguments, I thought I would give my five sense and I did. After I finished speaking there was a silence and then 3 agrees…
So what is The most important meal of the Day?? Have a look…
Barack Obama was sitting in his office wondering which country to invade next, when his telephone rang.
“Howzit, Barack!” a voice in broken English said. “This is Koos Vannermerwe here from the Doringboom Bar in Welkom , South Africa . I am ringing to inform you that we are officially declaring war on you, boet!”
“Well, Koos,” Barack replied, “This is indeed important news! How big is your army?”
“Right now,” said Koos, after a moment’s calculation, “there is myself, my cousin Jan, my next-door neighbour Lang Hannes, and the entire darts team from the pub. That makes eight of us!”
Barack paused. “I must tell you, Koos, that I have one million men in my army waiting to move on my command.”
“Blikkiesfontein!” said Koos. “I’ll have to ring you back!” Sure enough, the next day, Koos called again. “Barack, my china, the war is still on! We have managed to acquire some infantry equipment!”
“And what equipment would that be, Koos?” Barack asked.
“Well, we have four Hilux double-cabs, two kombis, an old Case bulldozer, and Vet Gert’s John Deere tractor”.
Barack sighed. “I must tell you, Koos, that I have 16,000 tanks and 14,000 armored personnel carriers. Also, I’ve increased my army to 1,5 million since we last spoke.”
“Liewe erdvark!” said Koos. “I’ll have to get back to you…” Sure enough, Koos rang again the next day. “Barack, ou swaer, the war is still on! We have managed to get ourselves airborne! We’ve modified Doepie’s ultra-light with a couple of shotguns in the cockpit, and four okes from the Virginia Hengelklub have joined us as well!”
Barack was silent for a minute and then cleared his throat. “I must tell you, Koos, I have 10,000 bombers and 20,000 fighter planes. My military complex is surrounded by laser-guided, surface-to-air missile sites. And since we last spoke, I’ve increased my army to TWO MILLION!”
“Slaat my dood!”, said Koos, “I’ll have to ring you back.” Sure enough, Koos called again the next day. “Jis, jis, jis, Barack! I am sorry to tell you that we’ve had to call off the war.”
“I’m sorry to hear that,” said Barack. “Why the sudden change of heart?”
“Well,” said Koos, “we’ve all had a long chat over some klippies and coke, and decided there’s no way we can feed two million prisoners of war!”
Shortest Essay Ever
This is a story of a 16 year-old boy from Hampshire, England who won the World’s Shortest Essay competition. He was awarded a scholarship at the University of Harvard……yeah right!!!
for his imagination and humour…. Here’s an example of absolute brilliance……
An English university creative writing class was asked to write a concise essay containing the following elements:
3) Physical Disability
The prize-winner wrote:
‘My God,’ cried the Queen, ‘That one-legged nigger is a poof’.
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The young family’s 5-year-old daughter naturally took an interest in all the activity going on next door and started talking with the workers. She hung around and eventually the builders, all with hearts of gold, more or less adopted the little girl as a sort of project mascot. They chatted with her, let her sit with them while they had tea and lunch breaks, and gave her little jobs to do here and there to make her feel important.
They even gave the child her very own hard hat and gloves, which thrilled her immensely.
At the end of the first week, the smiling builders presented her with a pay envelope – containing two pounds in 10p coins. The little girl took her ‘pay’ home to her mother who suggested that they take the money to the bank the next day to open a savings account.
The little girl proudly replied, ‘Yes, I worked every day with Steve and Wayne and Mike. We’re building a big house.’
‘My goodness gracious,’ said the cashier, ‘And will you be working on the house again next week?’
This image is funny but yet so true. Have a giggle and dont forget to share the love…. Follow us on Twitter
Recently, a female police officer arrested Patrick Lawrence , 22 year old white male, fornicating with a pumpkin in the middle of the night.
The next day, at the Gwinnett County (GA) courthouse, Lawrence was charged with lewd and lascivious behavior, public indecency and public intoxication.
The suspect explained that as he was passing a pumpkin patch on his way home from a drinking session when he decided to stop, ‘You know how a pumpkin is soft and squishy inside, and there was no one around for miles or at least I thought there wasn’t anyone around’ he stated.
Lawrence went on to say that he pulled over to the side of the road, picked out a pumpkin that he felt was appropriate to his purpose, cut a hole in it, and proceeded to satisfy his pressing need. ‘Guess I was really into it, you know?’ he commented with evident embarrassment.
In the process of doing the deed, Lawrence failed to notice an approaching police car and was unaware of his audience until Officer Brenda Taylor approached him.
‘It was an unusual situation, that’s for sure,’ said Officer Taylor. ‘I walked up to Lawrence and he’s just banging away at this pumpkin.’
Officer Taylor went on to describe what happened when she approached Lawrence .
‘I said: ‘Excuse me sir, but do you realize that you’re having sex with a pumpkin??’
He froze and was clearly very surprised that I was there, and then he looked me straight in the face and said:
‘A pumpkin? Shit … is it midnight already?’
The Washington Post wrote an article describing this as ‘Best come-back line ever.’